Hiya-I'm Gena. I've read all of your entries, & I feel for you. I'm sorry you lost your job. I'm not married, but have been with the same person for almost 8 years, & we have a 5 year old daughter together.

It's hard to maintain a clean house while taking care of a child, doing the laundry, cooking dinner, & all of that while working a job. I'm sure she's tired when she gets home. BUT..........that's part of being in a relationship.

It sounds like she isn't nearly mature enough to be in any kind of relationship, much less a marriage!!!!!!! I have health problems that keep me from working, so James works to support us. He's fine with that. I keep all the clothes clean & put away, I keep his lunches made for work, I keep the house clean (most of the time. It's NEVER like you've described yours), I make sure our daughter gets to & from school. I also do all of the grocery shopping, & the clothes shopping, including HIS clothes.

To me, that's what a wife (which is what I consider myself) does. If she can't do that, then you need to find someone who can. Have you had any luck finding a new job?

ok so i've gone back and read all of your previous entries.. just so i can get a true understanding of where your coming from, and i'd like to say that you do need to clean (i know.. i know... she should help too and it probably is mostly her mess- but bottom line is your there all day and she's at work all day). thats just the way it runs. i should know- same thing happened with me and my man... i was working he was at home- he cleaned cooked and even did the laundry (all without being asked), then the tables turned- now i'm unemployed and he's working all the time. i might want to mention that i hate cleaning for the most part! so at the beginning he expected me to do everything- and he was right for thinking that, but i didn't see it that way- i saw it as he should have helped me, long story short we worked it out through some serious arguing-- he hates my cooking so he'll come home most nights and cook, i do everything thing else during the day- even if it's not to his immaculate standards it still gets done (clause in here- if they complain about how stuff gets done then you just say then do it yourself and stop complaining- that generally will shut them up!).

also have you tried talking to her about how she makes you feel? how you long for her to even look at you or touch you like she used to?? heck send her an message on myspace since she's online all the time, and that way when she ignores you.. you at least know she will read it.
also on another level-- and you can tell me if i'm wrong- but it seems to me that you are having major regrets about the past... when you shouldn't... you need to realize that while things have evolved and changed- maybe that she has as well but you don't know what she needs now either? just a thought-- maybe you should ask????